Before my Vietnamese roommate left our hostel room, she gave me some mementos: a mug, the chopsticks she always lent me, and a Precious Moments globe. I really liked it, and I photographed it often. It’s pretty much one of the few “model material” objects I have here in my dorm room.

Moving on, when I was closing my curtains yesterday, my inability to control my strength surfaced yet again. Sadly there was a casualty this time.

And yes, I have no future as a photographer! HAHAHAHA
On the bright side, this incident lead me to finally wash my bedsheets.

Also — as promised — I brought my ~trophy~ this time! Straight from the Philippines lol

If you don’t know what I mean, then you might want to skim through this post.

Happy Chinese New Year!

I don’t know if my “art style” has changed for the better… in fact sometimes I find myself wishing I could draw like how I used to. But it’s not like I could do anything about that now! Hahaha! I just hope that whatever progress I am making as a frustrated artist is something that could be considered as improvement and not a downgrade of sorts~

And so let me share to you my entry for January 9 2012. I also have an entry for January 8, but it isn’t worth posting here (and it’s rather… too personal to share.) Today’s entry has yet to be written, as well as the rest of my life… I’d leave those for next time

Monday, January 9, 2012 8:56 AM cellphone time

My first day of school in the new year & I have already done so much. I woke up rather early, around 7:30 (AM) cellphone time. I took a shower but skipped washing my hair, and afterwards I curled my mane and tied it to a half ponytail. I wore my Wonder Woman shirt with acid wash Seven jeans & yellow-and-silver Le Pommier handed-downs. I had red bean pao for breakfast as I walked to school and I arrived a few minutes too early. The first person to join me was Ivana, and she commented that “this is the first time” I “show my hair. Looks quite different.” Although she said “quite” as “quiet”. She also said that my face seemed thinner and this line shall forever be a compliment.

David let us off early so that translates to being laptop-less & with nothing to do. Not. I had 2-in-1 riceballs from Mr. bean for lunch plus a hefty slice of papaya, then I indulged in To Kill a Mockingbird, of which I am in page 184 as we speak. I had finished reading “ttfn” yesterday; as well as unpacking my bags & redecorating my desk, so today I did one load of laundry (I basically have about 3 more to attend to, oh joy) and did a little brainstorming for David’s project. Not much could be done since I hadn’t done any research yet. I was planning on doing Tony Moly for the project but I decided to go with Toys R Us instead. Vogue was one of the options as well. I had been visualizing Transformers, Real Steel, and Beyblade in my design, so when David told me that stuffed toys could be tricky to layout I felt like I was in a blur.

On other news I called Sapura 3 times before I finally got past the answering machine on the 4th time. I had inquired about my case & I was informed that I would be able to get my replacement (the power adaptor for my laptop charger) by tomorrow, which is a relief. I do not entirely miss my laptop, & I definitely don’t feel the urge to read manga right now.

I have always believed that everything my mom has made do ALWAYS had a side to it that would benefit me in the future – and this was one of those episodes. Let me explain. In third grade she scolded me for handling the broomstick wrongly, and patiently demonstrated “how sweeping was done.” – this is a lesson I have applied various times, but my current situation as an occupant of a shared hostel room is one of the more obvious & prominent ones.
Also, reminiscing all those gloomy afternoons filled with minutes that dragged on to what might have been hours full of hand washing the whole family’s soiled underwear (well, except my dad’s) because I had to learn how to do hand wash at one point; plus the grueling but reasonable task of having to wash my own blood-stained garments all helped in preparing me for the “perils” of doing all of one’s laundry once one assumes “independence”. My experience in washing the dishes after almost every mealtime did not go to waste, either.
In light to my current situation, mom resumed her parental duties of setting curfews and restrictions the moment I set foot in our house in CDO last Christmas for a week-long break. She was not able to properly impose & monitor my obedience to her rules when I was away, (but believe me I have been quite obedient considering my nature, age, situation & amount of resources) and I had also missed the feeling of having someone to pine over me & judge my habits, so I agreed to her “requests” without so much as a second thought.
“Sleep early,” she said. Funny enough I had been sleeping at 1 AM at the earliest the week before, but back home I felt groggy by 11 PM.
“No manga & anime,” she said sternly. This was hard to imagine, since I basically lived & breathed kawaii at this point. (My mental reaction could be easily translated as “NANI?!” but I happily accepted the challenge.”) My brother also indulged over shounen himself, and although I have read & watched more titles compared to anyone in the family, my dad was the one who really influenced us both. As a kid, Cartoon Network brought me Akazukin ChaCha, but my dad brought home Samurai X, Eyeshield 21, and Peacemaker Kurogane. My cousins were also big influences, since they watched Dragonball, Flame of Recca, and Ghost Fighter religiously when we were younger. I now realize that I have been exposed to too much testosterone as a kid, & I am not shocked at my sometimes “manly” habits nowadays. The other week, my brother and father were particularly fixated with Beelzebub, and I only joined in on them since it was my only chance to watch Anime without being scolded or told on, plus it was funny & they were watching it on my laptop. When nobody was watching it, I’d minimize the media player & go about my tweetin’ business, since even until now I could not stomach disobeying my mother. I have probably done it a couple of times – all of which I couldn’t remember – but in the recent years I’d like to think that I have a clean record. Almost. I try.
And so I went almost 2 weeks without any manga or anime (I only watched parts of episodes 1 & 2 of Beelzebub, then a few doses of episode 40-something) but I did download manga updates of Skip Beat! but up nil now they remain zipped. As of this breathing moment I have gone 2 weeks & 1 day (A/N: make that 2 days) without what was once the habitual sugoi, & only settling at sighing at the photos of my fictional boyfriends, whose purpose and intensity of affection depend on the biases of my heart – whose tastes rivals the comings and goings of the season’s trends on fashion runways; and whether or not I have recently indulged in the series the character was from.

As a way of “coping” with this sudden bombardment of *eons* of free time, I have never felt such long days in Singapore. I have been pacing my life relaxingly, and I have been getting things done without having to sacrifice comfort. I am liking this whole new laid-back feel, and the best part is I have been getting enough rest & I am constantly full yet entertained. I do not know how long this will last, since I have only 1 book left unread & I am already halfway through To Kill a Mockingbird, plus I am also going to be reunited with my laptop soon… let us see how it goes. My current disinterest in Anime & heightened thirst for the printed word might only be short-lived, but I hope it stays for as long as it could. I do not wish to deprive myself too much, so I won’t set any restrictions for myself… I am old enough to be wary of my own boundaries. …I believe.
At the very least I do not want to be separated from Ciel Phantomhive.
I might have to stay away from Soul and Kidd and Black Star and Cain and Izaya and Len and all my other flings whose names I cannot recall due to the blaring of PSG’s Fallen Angel from my earbuds – which reminds me of my short but innocent attraction to Brief – I would not be able to fully let go of the ~evil~ Phantomhive noble. Which also leads me to pointing out that most – if not all – of my hot (albeit fictional) boyfriends come from shounen titles. In all honesty I hate how overly cheezy, perfect, and mostly stuck-up most male leads in shoujo manga are. Which also leads me to remembering Josei series Nana, which is home to the also-underage-but-he-is-my-age-so-that-doesn’t-make-me-pedo Shin whose over-all character makes me overlook his vices and unhealthy relationship with Reira.

Going back to topic.

My mom’s restrictions have already conditioned my mind in such a way that when my laptop charger died on me, I did not feel deprived of anything. Although I have been living off of the internet for probably most of my life by now, it is good to know that I am still able to survive & function well (if not better) without it. I am able to accomplish a lot of things without it, and I feel more relaxed generally. I like this. I might stick to this routine more. I might also start buying books from San bookshop to keep me company.

Also yesterday night I slept at around 12 since I finished a motivational poster, which I made using leftover Idea Generation paper and quotations from one of dad’s talks with me, whose lines were conveniently sprawled in what is now my laundry log book.

I also checked my grades today & I am just as psyched as my numerical equivalents are. It may be a Merit (A/N: this is the second highest mark you could get, the highest being a Distinction. After Merit comes Credit, then Pass, and then Fail.) but this is my first time getting a 75 in my card. Oh, please. I feel happy that I got all Merits, but the inner high schooler in me is EXTREMELY dissatisfied at this performance. I don’t know if I should blame my laziness last term or if I should be ashamed of my mindset that anything under 90 should not be celebrated. I blame my high school for their high standard. But that isn’t exactly a problem though, since it’s actually helping me in the same way my mother’s lectures did… Oh, my life is a novel in itself. Now, back to Scout and Jem’s antics…

end 10:12 PM xx
“I could get by without communication, but I doubt I’d survive without my music”

/end Journal quotation

That was probably my longest journal entry EVER. It spanned a total of 12 pages and it had no drawings whatsoever… it took me over an hour to write as well. Imagine.

Left most; Little Miss Sunshine 2010
Center; for a CPE contest, won third in the school-wide competition 2011
Right most; my current CrazYanka.com layout.

Head over to CrazYanka.com (if you haven’t already~) to see the new layout It’s my first time making a layout using this color scheme, so be nice!

I arrived in my hometown early yesterday morning, and I must say my experience was so much better compared to my first time traveling alone. Although there were a few downfalls (*cough* infants for aisle-mates, rollercoaster-esque turbulence, flight chasing, and soaked jeans, to name a few) the fact that I made it home safely is all that counts!

The day before my flight, I tried on some of my clothes so that I would be able to bring fewer clothes that I could easily accessorize and *manipulate* later. Since Christmas time is pretty much one of the few seasons of the year wherein I’d be able to dress formally without looking too over-the-top, I tried on one of my dresses. It slipped on really easily, but taking it off was another story. Lesson learned: when you know you’ve put on some weight, don’t go on trying your tight-on-the-chest-and-hips dress. I ended up having to wrestle with myself, and I didn’t get out of it unscathed.

Just a day ago it was black and blue, but now it’s just unattractive splotches of dark brown.

Rewinding to a couple of days ago, I took this photo using my laptop’s webcam and I really liked how the shape of my eye was captured. I then decided to use it as a reference for a vexel/vector using a color palette that I’m currently into. Since my brother’s been asking me to teach him some Photoshop, I’m planning on teaching him how to do these sorts of things )

This post is getting pretty random so here’s a photo dump of random photos I’ve taken using my webcam over the past three months.

I’ll be updating the layouts of all my sites before the end of the year, so look forward to a new theme here as well!

Me in 2nd year high school

When I was in second year high school, a lot of my friends started making all these “lists” for what they wanted to accomplish by the next year. Being the little sabay sa panahon (roughly “goes along with the flow”) that I was (and still am, somehow) I asked one of my friends to suggest one for me. Back in those days, it was a “fad” to scribble your crush’s (or crushes’s, the latter being more applicable to my situation) name on the palm of your hand. I was no exception, so she told me, “How about you try not writing on your hand next year?” It’s been roughly 3 years now and I haven’t written on my palms since! (I’ve tried writing on my wrists a couple of times though, but never on the palms!)

For 2012, I have a specific goal to accomplish: to lose weight. I won’t deny the fact that it’s partly because I want to lose weight, but it’s mainly because I have to lose weight. I have scoliosis and I have been advised to watch my weight and to make sure that I don’t exceed 54 kg, going over that weight would put too much stress on my spine. I didn’t ask the doctor what would happen if I went over 54, but I’d probably experience back pains more often (I’m in the prime of my teenage years and I’m already experiencing all this, you’ve got to shed some tears at that thought lol) and my curvature would probably increase. I don’t want that. So I’m going to lose weight!

Summer before my Junior year of high school

If you’ve tried the “I’m going to lose weight” declaration before, you’d know what I mean when I say that it’s easier said than done. My skinny friends (that have vacuums for stomachs but never seem to gain any weight) would complain that gaining weight was harder, but I don’t know man, some people just have couch potato metabolisms. People like me. Hahaha! So, in order to spice things up, I’m going to do something I’ve already done before — The Banning.

What’s “The Banning?” When I was a sophomore in high school, I had this unhealthy (let me emphasize that, UNHEALTHYYYYYY) obsession for manga (Japanese comics.) I would spend hours trolling the internet scavenging for manga updates, oftentimes completely neglecting my schoolwork just because of it. It’d be interesting to note that my second year high school final grades were the lowest I’ve ever had in high school — actually, my whole academic life. It was the first and only year where I had a failing mark on an examination (and a final examination at that!) This did almost nothing to discourage me from relishing in all that was kawaii, but in the third quarter of my Junior year in high school, I decided to challenge myself. That challenge was — you guessed right — THE BANNING.

Me in Junior year, complete with my early Photoshop editing skills — AKA the crappy-excuse-of-an-edit phase of my life

The challenge was simple. If I didn’t become an honor student, then that’d mean no more manga and anime for me. Yeah, pretty simple if you weren’t a Kuroshitsuji-obsessed girl like I am. Tearing away from my beloved mangafox and onemanga tore my itty bitty heart into pieces, and hearing my otaku friends talking about manga updates were just… envy-inducing. It was hard in the beginning. *Insert tear stains here*

Senior year, after a hosting stint at school

When my third year of high school came to a close, I was just 1 point away from being a third honor student (and I’m not even joking) … so yes, the challenge continued until Senior year. In the summer I refrained from reading manga still, since I didn’t want to get a “relapse” or something hahaha! Luckily my efforts were remunerated because I graduated as the top 7th student of my batch. I went through almost 2 years without manga that I practically started wondering why I even liked it in the first place.

My Senior Prom

Most of you probably know of my tumblr. I follow a lot of Japanese fashion blogs, and sometimes they’d post illustrations by Japanese artists and on other instances they’d be spreading some anime love on my dash. On one particular day last Summer, I found caps from Ano Hana, so I watched it out of curiosity and cried a tissue box of tears afterwards. It didn’t re-ignite my love for anime and manga though. But mid-August this year I came across Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt… and well my life has changed since. Hahaha!

Shanghai, summer 2011

So this time, I’m going to start this challenge all over again. If I don’t weigh around 95-110 pounds (I weighed only 100 lbs during Senior year, so it’d be doable to shed all the flab I’ve put on since then) by December 2012, I’ll ban myself from anime/manga/manhwa/webcomics until I do end up in that weight bracket. This’ll be tough, but it has to be done! If I do end up succeeding in this endeavor, I will treat myself to some Christmas shopping — maybe grab a few art books or shop for some new clothes. The possibilities are endless lol! For penalties if I don’t end up losing weight, I’ll also ban myself from eating fast food until I lose the weight. To give up all of my french fries and imaginary boyfriends — this is serious, my friends.

Me (in long sleeved shirt) taken a few weeks ago. This was on the day I got a crash course on how to dance “clubbing style” )

On another note, my hometown was just recently hit by tropical storm Washi

Sendong photos courtesy of Keith Obed Ruiz

This is the first time I’ve heard of my city being hit by a typhoon! The aftermath is just heartbreaking. Just the idea of knowing that my fellow Kagay-anons will be living through Christmas without a home — or worse, without a certain family member or loved one — is just horrible! When I first read about the incoming storm, I thought it was just the usual strong winds and terrible rain sort of thing, but little did I know that it’d swirl up into this gut-wrenching tragedy. I’ve been itching to help out ever since Saturday! I’m only comforted by the fact that my family is safe and that my relatives survived as well. Most of my friends didn’t share the same fate though I hope everything will perk up real soon! Here’s hoping for all the best for Cagayan de Oro! Stay strong, Kagay-anons!

Lastly, on a totally out-of-topic note, I’ll be heading home this Saturday! I’m quite excited! Although my hometown is practically in ruin right now, that’s not stopping me from getting all giddy at the thought of being with the ones I love yet again! Actually, I think the results of the flood are also one of the reasons why I want to go home. I really want to help, even though just the idea of helping out is making me feel all emotional already. Tss!

Advanced Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!!

I wonder if I should…

• Publish an anthology of short stories, poems, etc. before publishing Blunt; or
• Publish the anthology only after publishing Blunt; or
• Only end up publishing Blunt and just releasing the collection of short stories in an e-book form.

What do you think I should do? The final decision would rest on my parents though, since I still don’t have the means to be able to do the funding! Oh, how I wish I had a job right now.

To give you guys an idea of the kind of stories I write, here are some sneak peeks Sadly, Blunt is the only mushy-mushy romantic story I ever managed to finish, and since I’m currently editing it, I’m actually un-mushifying it a bit ) Anyway–

Title: The Story of Sarah
Finished on: November 2011
The Story of Sarah is about a girl who wanted to change, but couldn’t find the courage to. It’s like she was unconsciously waiting for something to initiate that change, but what she didn’t realize was that in the end, it was all going to boil down to her own decisions. Well… maybe a new neighbor played a role in everything, as well. Filled with a little symbolism here and there, with little to no dialogue. Narrated in a third person’s point of view.

Title: Mother
Finished on: November 2011
There are no names mentioned in Mother. *Almost* purely a dialogue between the girl and her mother. The girl pretty much just questions about her childhood like how any other kid would normally ask their mothers, but the answers that her mother gives are not exactly conventional ones. Long story short: in the end, the girl still believed that her murderers loved her. Something like that. lol

Title: The Rose is Mine
Finished on: November 2011
A story about an overly possessive lover. This story is my first attempt at writing something in a male point of view. Pretty much about twisted love.

Title: Coincidence
Finished on: Currently writing!
Coincidence is by far the most challenging thing I’ve tried writing, and I won’t say the reason why just yet! The story is mainly about how everyday’s the same… but it’s not. It’s the details that matter. Also, being an observer can be great thing, but being involved in something can bring about a sense of happiness that’s on a totally different level from that of just being an observer. Originally titled “A Story of Coincidence.”

Title: Blunt
Finished on: July 2009, but currently being revised
In the dictionary, blunt‘s definition could be interpreted as something that is dull, crude, tactless, and insensitive. Blunt is a story about Lian. About how she becomes the person she wants to be despite other people telling her to do otherwise. In this story, I wanted to show how Lian brought herself from being plain to becoming a total pain in the ass, from being a prick to becoming the princess in her prince-less fairytale. Blunt is also about fake friends, opportunities, and high school drama, among other things.

All illustrations were made by me. No references used. Created using Photoshop CS5 and a drawing tablet.

I made this today. Think of it as a feeble attempt at impressionism. Lol. I watched a short clip about Van Gogh earlier this morning so I was kind of inspired to try out digital painting (this is my "first try" if you could even consider this a digital painting in the first place) so yeah.

Well, I’ll be honest and say that I’m not in my best shape right now. Lol. It’s the dawn of the last month of school and well, things are starting to get dirty if you get what I mean. There’s so much to do and… I don’t feel like doing any! That’s thanks to all the gorgeous distractions I’ve managed to find, AKA movies, sit-coms, art websites, and the usual Japanese anime/manga fix. Don’t worry, I’ve been making steady progress though. But compared to my pacing last term, I’m SUPERBLY relaxed this time around. I blame the rainy season. I’m always lazy when the weather’s cool. But then again I’m even lazier in the summer, but you get my point! (I’m lazy all year round. Lol.)

In other news, my domain, CrazYanka.com has long since been restored, but I have yet to update it. Although I haven’t used Dreamweaver before (since I’ve been coding websites in Notepad/Wordpad since fifth grade) it’s pretty easy to adapt to, but the big switch from CoreFTP to Cyberduck is quite a shock for me, and it’s quite inconvenient… Anyway, by mid-December I aim to give CY a well-deserved revival. Here’s hoping I don’t procrastinate too much! I’m thinking of giving it a dark layout this time around… but nudes and pinks are soooo tempting as well… oh well! Let’s see how it goes!

You might also be wondering… Yanka, you have like, five blogs. What the heck are they for anyway? Well, let this serve as a reference for the both of us (since I tend to get overwhelmed as well!)

CrazYanka, my baby, is for all the “What’s going on in your life, Yanka?” sort of stuff. Mostly school-related stuff, graphic-related, art-related, whatchamacallits. Also about my travels. ANYWAY what you’ll be seeing here are the “significant” happenings in my life that are worthy enough to be talked about in length.

yankasmiles, the newcomer! I’ve barely had this space for a month. This is where I’ll be talking about random personal stuff. Think of it as the “What goes on in Yanka’s head?” sort of place. Reflections, opinions, daily ramblings, rants, photobooth spam… you know the drill.

candyfever, my little online scrapbook! hahaha! Until recently this was my personal+scrapbook page in one, but since I wanted a little more organization in my life I decided to make candyfever my reblog dump. Full of stuff I like but at the same time stuff that isn’t mine. Like… people’s ideas that I can relate to. It’s the “What’s Yanka into right now?” or “What entertains Yanka?” sort of thing. You can also think of it as a fashion-and-anime page. Lol

crazyanka @ wordpress, this is where you are right now! I’m thinking of making this one a place to put my written works, WIPs, and a few personal stuff as well. The in-between of yankasmiles and CrazYanka.com, so to speak.

And last but not the least, a place called “Yanka Can’t Write” wherein I put some of THE most embarassing & private stuff ever. HAHAHA! Complete with name bashing and fangirling, my private blog is practically a mess and I wouldn’t want anyone to see it. I don’t even remember the password to view it anymore LOLOLOL I can only access it through the admin page but anyway!

So yeah! ) Will post something a little more interesting next time since I’m sure, if you’d read this far, I’d have succeeded in boring you to death :p

That fear overwhelmed me last night. I was afraid I might not be able to leave Singapore in one piece. I couldn’t sleep. I think I managed to doze off by 3 AM.

Despite my lack of sleep, I woke up to my 6 AM alarm. It was raining. “What luck!” the weather wasn’t on my side. I booked a cab and it was taking so much time, so my thoughts started to wander elsewhere. I found myself double-checking my luggage, and sure enough I forgot something. My laptop…. and my tickets! Of all things! I guess the late cab was a blessing in disguise. I thanked the Lord. What an unfortunate day it would’ve been if I’d forgotten my laptop & tickets! I thanked the hostel worker that help book my cab and went on my way.

I struggled with my luggage in the airport. The taxi driver was kind enough to unload the bags from his cab for me. I thanked him and he told me “Have a safe journey!” Singapore is probably the only place where I’ve heard “journey” being used in a casual conversation. On other news, silly ‘ol me was smiling like a fool while waiting for her turn at the check-in counters, totally unaware of the misfortune that awaited her just minutes away. Completely overwhelmed by my optimistic side (and I’m thankful that I’m in a good mood today, or else I might not have dealt with my situation very well) I smiled at the Indian desk dude and gave him a pretty cheerful “Good morning.” I loaded my luggage to be weighed and guess what? I was quite embarrassed at the check-in counter since I was told that I’d gone over my allowed check-in and hand-carry limit. I guess my face — which was practically flushed in horror since I couldn’t possibly pay the SGD$90 fine (THAT’S A CRAZY Php3000+!!!) with the meager $20 I had left in my pocket — was enough to make the check-in dude reconsider the fact that I had heavy (dslr, iPad, laptop…) gadgets with me and allowed me to board. I was so thankful! A teary-eyed “Thank you!” later and I was off to the Immigration counter. More misfortune awaited me!

I was never the weightlifter, and a kilo of stuff would be enough to wear me down. But a seven kilo bag, plus a 1kg+ laptop, plus a small shoulder bag… oh come on. You get the picture. And the ladies at the scanner area thingy were so inconsiderate! They’re just doing their job, but oh well… I kept smiling though, since I knew that at the end of the day, there was a cozy bed awaiting me back home…. But even that idea would be disrupted soon enough! But I’ll touch up on that later…

I proceeded to the GST claim counter, where I was supposed to be refunded over a SGD$100 worth of tax. That’s quite a lot of moolah, if you ask me! Imagine my disappointment when the friendly counter man (which I had even greeted and had a pretty cool conversation with! I was being so nice to people but people always brought me bad news… I tried to keep positive still though!) said I couldn’t claim the money since I was still going to renew my Student Pass! It’s a complicated story but… $100 wasted! Imagine the cute shoes I could’ve bought with that money… *sob*

When boarding the plane, I was lucky enough to be accompanied by a steward who stowed my baggage for me. After a stressful morning, I decided to keep my cool and read a book. Yet another reason to be thankful! If I hadn’t brought that book with me, I don’t think I would’ve been able to keep sane during my airplane rides. On my trip from Singapore to Manila, it was a good 3 something hours! I couldn’t sleep since a baby seated behind me kept tugging on my hair. We left Singapore by 10:30 and by 1 PM I was starving! I decided to buy some noodles and orange juice… and then Mother Nature found that it was the best time to have some air turbulence! I’ve been on quite a lot of airplane rides, so turbulence doesn’t really bother me any more. I just hate how it hinders me from enjoying what should have been a savored meal!

When we arrived in Manila, a young boy seated behind me was kind enough to get my bag from the overhead bins for me. Strangers are my friends lol! But the good vibes were about to end when I went on the elevator to go to the Domestic Flight Area. My pushcart was pretty crappy and it wouldn’t pass through the doors… Luckily I was with a very patient airport worker who held the door open for me! I was pretty embarrassed, but I thanked him for putting up with my stupidity. I proceeded to repack my things in the ever-bustling NAIA, and I didn’t care if people looked at me since I was comforted with the thought that I would probably never see them again in my life, anyway.

Luckily enough, my repacking did wonders and I didn’t go over my limit this time! Apparently the check-in counter lady wasn’t listening to my request to be seated in front, and she placed me in the worst seat possible — window seat in the back half of the plane! I hate being in the back of planes since it’s always crowded! I wasn’t blessed with my seat-mates either, since I was seated near infants yet again. Their constant crying assured me that I wasn’t going to get any sleep on my flight home, so I absorbed myself to my reading… the plane departed 30 minutes late. For some reason my surroundings smelled of baby poo and underarm sweat. It wasn’t pretty. But I endured.

“We are now on our initial descent to Cagayan de Oro.” I was so happy! I was going to arrive home in one piece! After all I’ve been through, I could finally see my family… NOT! I could barely see Mindanao since the clouds were thick and gloomy and screamed “YANKA YOUR BAD DAY AIN’T OVER YET SISTAH”. The pilot then announced that if the weather condition didn’t pick up, we might be landing in DAVAO. I have never been to Davao, I don’t know anyone in Davao, I didn’t want to go to Davao! I closed my book, I closed my eyes, I clasped my hands. “I have stayed positive this long. I have gone this far. Lord, I will arrive in Cagayan de Oro safely tonight.” I chanted in my head over and over and over again. I opened my eyes twice to look out the window and all I could see was gray. My eyes were watery. I wanted to be home so badly!

Luckily the third time I opened my eyes, I caught a glimpse of my humble city. The scenery was a far cry from the bustling Singapore, but it was home to me. It was where I could be myself and speak my tongue. The city was enveloped in fog. It was raining. With my 7kg stroller bag, sling bag, laptop bag, and camera bag in hand, I got down the slippery “superferry stairs” with an umbrella in my freehand. It was raining, but I didn’t care. I was home! An oldish man started talking with me and I entertained him since I couldn’t walk past him with all my luggage. I slowly drifted away from him as I made my way to the baggage claim area. I’m no good with talking with strangers… When I was looking for my bags, the man approached me again, and I entertained him since I saw my dad observing me from a distance, so I knew that if the man started doing fishy things, the fact that my dad was there gave me the courage to defend myself. The elder started fumbling with his wallet, and I don’t know what his motives were, but my dad quickly went to my side and the man — complete with a shocked face — faded away into the background without ever having the chance to explain himself. Daddy to the rescue!

I didn’t care if my luggage got wet from the rain. My little city didn’t have a very stylish airport, and the baggage claim area isn’t even air conditioned, but it is by far one of my favorite places to arrive in! Nothing beats home! I didn’t care if I didn’t get my $100 refund. I didn’t care if I didn’t get to sleep properly. I didn’t care if my arms ached so much from carrying more than what I am allowed to (I’m only allowed to carry 3kg maximum due to my scoliosis condition). I didn’t care if my mother and brother welcomed me with a very endearing, “Oh my, you’ve gained weight!” All that mattered was that I made it through the day smiling at strangers even if they only brought me bad news, and the fact that I’m in Cagayan de Oro and not in Davao is enough to make me feel grateful.

Thank you, again, Lord, for clearing the skies for a moment just to let my plane land! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

To kick it up a notch, I decided to put more time and effort to my sketches to also push myself to draw more sensible things rather than just doodling pretty much anything I see (which isn’t such a bad thing either.) So I thought of coloring and doing proper-ish line art (I think that doing the outlines is the most tiresome and boring part of the drawing process, both traditionally and digitally lol but that’s just my opinion) instead of the usual pencil drawings. While laying in bed before I slept one night, I thought about how it would be nice to draw people I know in the way “I see them.” Since I didn’t know how it would turn out, I decided it would be best if I tried to draw myself first (so that if it ended up ugly, well, it’s my portrait anyway! No one gets offended hahaha)


It looks NOTHING like me but oh well! I actually had to Google references for the Lavenders and Sunflowers since I’ve never drawn “real” flowers before! I almost always just draw petals or random swirls that are supposed to look like roses in a bird’s eye view.

The next day I had a sudden urge to update my novel, Blunt. If you’ve read my blogs @ CrazYanka.com before it got temporarily suspended, you’d know about how Blunt started out as a Sims 2 game and ended up being the story it is today As of the moment the storyline has already changed quite a lot from the original, but most of the scenes and dialogues from the 2008 copy are still present. I aim to publish it by next year at the latest, but it wouldn’t hurt to have it done by the end of 2011! Even as the author, I’m torn between following what I want for my characters and what I feel my characters would want! It’s pretty crazy, if you ask me! Here’s a little snippet from one of my more recent chapters:

A comfortable silence enveloped us and I surrendered to the ache of my heart. For some reason I felt awkward about myself. I couldn’t put a finger on a reason why. It wasn’t unusual for me to feel a pang of guilt whenever I was overjoyed, given that I’ve always been like this ever since I could remember. It’s as if I couldn’t accept being happy, like I don’t feel that I deserve to be. I know that shouldn’t be the case, but it is.

Just a little note — the first copy of Blunt had 16 chapters and almost 60 pages, and the current revision (I revised it since I felt that the ending was rushed and there were quite a lot of inconsistencies and grammar errors) has 10 chapters and almost 50 pages, and it’s nowhere near the ending yet! I’m quite excited to finish, since the ending I have in mind is something I’ve been planning since my Senior year! [1 page = 1 US Letter size paper] Also, the chapters I’m currently working on are pretty much still a part of the “beginning” of the story since I haven’t even introduced the problems yet. If you’d really want to know what I’m thinking about right now, it’s this — “I can’t wait to write the part where I’d have to kill someone in my story.” Weeee

I drew some scenes from the story in my sketchbook as well, but they’re still random scribbles since I couldn’t draw the male characters in the same way I see them in my head just yet. (Male hair is so troublesome!) Since I wouldn’t want to spoil you guys on the new scenes just yet (ohoho) I’ll just share my colored sketch of Lian I forgot to take a photo of the pencil sketch, but luckily I managed to photograph it when I finished the line art.

I used quite a lot of colors to finish Lian’s portrait!

I have yet to draw my friends’ and family’s portraits though… hahaha I fear I wouldn’t bring any justice to how beautiful they are in my eyes! Eseyyyy it’s never too early to suck up for Christmas presents, ‘ayt?

On the other hand I draw random stuff every now and then, and lately I’ve been experimenting with perspective and facial expressions.

Last night I decided on drawing something with some sort of background, and I also had an itch to draw something fashion-related-ish, so I ended up drawing something ad campaign-esque. A part of me regrets coloring her hair pink (I knew I should’ve just gone with brown) but a part of me also regrets coloring the whole thing in the first place. Hahaha! In the end I still like how this turned out.

Next week is going to be the hell week of my first term of school since I’ll be presenting my work already. I’m really nervous since I don’t know what my grade would be… I’m quite confident that I’ll get quite a good grade though, but I know I can’t be complacent! I hope I’d do well in my presentation so that it could serve as my back-up to raise my grade a bit if ever it wouldn’t be so stellar (but I hope that wouldn’t be the case!) Hoping for the best! I’m visiting home next week as well so I’m super excited for that!

Random personal photo for the lolz